HHere is the lead paragraph of an Associated Press bulletin I expect to see come across the wires early Sunday afternoon:

ST. LOUIS (AP) -- What was first thought to be an unidentified flying object spotted here Sunday has since been identified as Miami Dolphins wide receiver Ernest Wilford, appearing in an actual football game, running an actual pass pattern.

Wilford, one of the team's major free-agent acquisitions, spent most of this NFL season pictured as missing on the side of milk cartons before being activated for duty because of the injury to Greg Camarillo.

Wilford's previous public appearance was earlier this season at a ceremony in which the league's weekly inactive list was named in his honor.

The receiver is expected to enjoy what could be considered an unfair advantage in his return to action, as balls that bounce off his hands might, prior to hitting the ground, be caught in his cobwebs.

• One lineup change for the Dolphins: Joey Porter will start at quarterback after refusing not only Tony Sparano's order to leave the game, but also his demand that Porter confine himself to defense.

• Weird. I just saw a bumper sticker that read, ``Honk If You've Rabbit-Punched Channing Crowder After Grabbing His Dreadlocks.''

• North Carolina played at Duke. Exciting! Oh, wait. Sorry. It was in football.

• The day after Thanksgiving, traditional start of holiday shopping, included a Wal-Mart worker trampled to death by an onrush and a shooting at a Toys 'R Us. Black Friday, indeed.

• Will be interesting in the latest Bowl Championship Series rankings to see how Texas, Oklahoma and Florida align. We haven't heard campaigning this intense since before Nov. 4. I half-expected to hear Urban Meyer in his postgame speech Saturday accuse Mack Brown of 'pallin' around'' with Bill Ayers.

• Shaquille O'Neal on Friday night was the latest much-bigger foe to pose a huge physical challenge for Miami's undersized 6-8 center Udonis Haslem. Haslem leads the NBA in black and blue. He's been backed into more often than the pylons in a beginning driver's parallel parking test.

• Poor Cavaliers fans having to hear all this talk about LeBron James maybe going to the Knicks when he becomes a free agent in 2010. Like it's not bad enough just having to live in Cleveland!?

• Based on most Hurricanes fans' opinion of the team's offensive coordinator, has there ever been a football coach with a more fitting surname than Patrick Nix?

• In Thursday's tripleheader, the Titans, Cowboys and Eagles won by a combined 90 points. Thataway to serve us three turkeys on Thanksgiving, NFL!

• The Marlins announced their spring training schedule would begin Feb. 25, unless it is delayed because of a lawsuit by Norman Braman.

• The Marlins' new ballpark won't be ready until the 2012 season, not 2011, because of delays caused by the Braman nuisance suit. Last time the team was hurt so much by one man, Wayne Huizenga's fire sale was dismantling the 1997 champions.

• The Panthers ended the weekend tied for last in the NHL in points and third from the bottom in goals scored, had lost a couple of guys to injuries and had upset some players by trading popular, respected Wade Belak. On the bright side, they had a better week than Wall Street.

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